Teen Mom: 17 Insane Revelations From Farrah Abraham’s “My Teenage Dream Ended”
The stars of MTV’s Teen Mom franchise had no idea just how much was going to change when they became pregnant as teenagers. Not only did they embark on the journey of young mothers, they simultaneously became reality stars, and now many Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2 stars have shared more of their stories through memoirs. Surprisingly, the first star to share her story via a book was the franchise’s most controversial star Farrah Abraham. In 2012, Abraham released “My Teenage Dream Ended” giving insight into her life that fans had never had before. While Abraham is not the most well-liked Teen Mom star, her story is not any less shocking and surprising, especially as much of the book is dedicated to explaining her relationship with her daughter Sophia’s late father Derek Underwood. Although she has mentioned Underwood over her time on 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, “My Teenage Dream Ended” offers a much better explanation of the pair and what Abraham’s life was like before teen pregnancy. Here are 12 of the most insane and shocking revelations from Farrah Abraham’s “My Teenage Dream Ended.”
17. Teenage Dream Ended
“My Teenage Dream Ended” is a pretty harsh title for a memoir, but Farrah wasted no time in explaining what she meant by that. Despite her troubles in her relationship with Derek, after getting pregnant, Farrah believed in her heart they would be a happy family, until one phone call brought it all crashing down around her. “Even when I accidentally got pregnant, I was convinced that everything would work out in the end. We were meant to be together. We wanted to get married and have children. It was just happening sooner than we had panned. Then a friend’s voice on the phone changed everything. ‘Derek died in a car wreck last night.’ Just like that, my teenage dream ended,” she recalled of the fateful moment she found out that her love and Sophia’s father had passed away.
16. How They Met
The majority of “My Teenage Dream Ended” is about Farrah and Derek’s turbulent relationship well before she became pregnant with their daughter, and after her emotional introduction, she started at the very beginning with how the pair met. On 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, the star has never been very forthcoming with details, but her memoir is a completely different story. She revealed that the pair first met when she was 15 and had her first ‘real’ boyfriend at the time, but that didn’t last long after she met Derek. The pair first met at a basketball game after her friend invited her to go to the game at a different high school because the friend wanted Farrah to meet a guy she had just started dating, and that guy was Derek. “I didn’t say anything. I just smiled, but it felt like a jolt of electricity was running through my body. He was good looking — light brown hair eyes, tan — and wore light jeans with a beige cotton coat over a button-down shirt and a simple chain around his neck. A super preppy guy — just what I liked.” She added that she respected he was dating her friend but admitted “even though he wasn’t available, just meeting Derek changed my life. For one thing, I totally got over my boyfriend and broke up with him.”
15. Getting Together
Although the pair didn’t go the same school, Farrah took her chance with Derek after her friend revealed they had broken up. Using MySpace, Farrah got in touch with Derek and he asked her to a St. Patrick’s Day party, and a few weeks later he asked her to officially be his girlfriend, but she was still nervous around him. Farrah revealed that she would only kiss Derek when she was “tipsy” and planned their first sober kiss. “That was a crazy night with a lot of romantic drama — some couples were breaking up, others were hooking up for the first time. It was also the night that almost everyone we knew realized that Derek and I were a couple. Our kiss left no doubt about that. Hopefully, it would keep away all the girls who were always hovering around Derek, like sharks circling their prey.”
14. The Talk
Even though Farrah and Derek fell for each other fast, they hit a minor bump in the road when Derek invited her to his senior prom. In her memoir, Farrah reveals how incredibly excited she was to be asked to go with him, but things changed when he brought up the old prom cliche. “He was quiet for a little while and then he said, ‘You know, when we go to prom I really want to have sex. Are you okay with that? Everyone has sex that night. All the guys will make fun of me if we don’t.'” Farrah was adamant that she wasn’t going to have sex with him just because of that and told him if it was so important to him he could go with someone else. “I was never afraid to let a boy go if he was pressuring me to do something I wasn’t comfortable with — he could go do whatever he wanted with some other girl. At that point, it was up to Derek to make or break our relationship. Derek looked at me for a moment and then whispered, ‘Okay, no pressure.'” Unfortunately upon arrival at the prom, Farrah became upset when Derek put his hand on her crotch when posing for their photo, “I’m still not sure if he put his hand there on purpose, but when it happened, it became obvious to me what was really on his mind and what he wanted at the end of the night. Everyone waiting in line saw. Our friends were laughing and Derek had turned bright pink from embarrassment.”
13. The First Time
Despite Farrah’s insistence that she wasn’t going to have sex with Derek on the prom night, that isn’t exactly how things happened. She had no problem sharing the details of her first time, but it didn’t exactly go well. “He encouraged me to keep trying and I did, but it just wasn’t happening […] I wasn’t prepared for this much pain at two am. We tried a few other random positions, but enough was enough. I just wasn’t ready.” While the first time wasn’t magical, it was a turning point in Farrah and Derek’s relationship, and it also meant a lot more of her sneaking him in and out of her parent’s house which would become a source of contention between herself and her parents.
12. On and Off
In “My Teenage Dream Ended” Farrah made it clear that when she and Derek were together it was electric, but things would quickly turn sour for the two, starting on Farrah’s birthday. After fighting about plans because Derek wanted to go out with just Farrah and not her friends, the two didn’t spend the night together but when she tracked him down at a house party, “He was with some random girl who was sitting on his lap.” After deciding that he didn’t want to “date during the summer,” Farrah was angry, and wrote, “I wanted Derek to hear about me every weekend, every day, all the time. I wanted him to call me in the worst way. I wanted him to tell me that he had made a mistake. That he still needed me and wanted us to start dating again.” Instead, he didn’t call her, and so she called him and the pair engaged in a “friends with benefit” situation. In her efforts to make Derek hear about her, Farrah started partying all the time: “it was getting to the point of distraction. I was out late at night so much, I started sleeping during the day. I felt like an owl.” For those who have followed Farrah’s story on Teen Mom, what might be most surprising about this revelation, is not that she was partying so much, but that her parents would allow it. Farrah often discusses how awful her childhood was, and how strict her parents were, which makes her heavy partying even more surprising.
11. The Fight
After detailing some more arguments between herself and Derek, Farrah admitted that through their problems, the two finally said they loved each other, and she kept sneaking Derek in and out of her house, until one horrible night. With her mom out of town for work, and her dad asleep, Farrah snuck Derek in like any other night, but for some reason he decided he wanted to fool around in her sister’s room down the hall since Farrah’s sister wasn’t home. “We went to her room and had sex on the bed for a good hour. At one point Derek was on top of me and I looked up at him and noticed a light a little bit to the side of his head, but off in the distance. I was about to say, ‘What is that?’ but before I had a chance, Derek flew off of me and the overhead light turned. I grabbed two big pillows to cover my naked body and looked up to see my dad. He was as angry as I have ever seen him.” Farrah’s father Michael took Derek downstairs and, while Farrah stayed upstairs, she wished she hadn’t. As if the discussion with her parents wasn’t bad enough, her dad revealed, “Derek and his mom went to the police station and filed a report. They’re pressing charges against me for hitting Derek.”
10. Derek’s Family
Throughout “My Teenage Dream Ended,” Farrah alluded to instances explaining that Derek didn’t have a very good relationship with his family, and mentioned several instances where he and his mom would fight and she barely spoke to Farrah when she met her. She also mentioned that when she met Derek’s mother and sisters, she got the impression they didn’t like her and never tried to get to know her. Meanwhile, Farrah’s parents didn’t approve of Derek, causing family issues to put a huge strain on their relationship. “When we were out together, Derek would have to park around the corner form his house so his mom wouldn’t see me. One day, I was waiting in his car and he came back crying, tears rolling down his face. I asked, ‘Derek why are you crying?’ But I already knew the answer. I wanted to make a point, so I didn’t pause and said, ‘You need to speak up for yourself. Maybe you should start saving up money to get your own place. Or maybe you could go live with your dad.” While his dad did offer for Derek to live in Missouri with him, Derek didn’t want to leave his friends, or Farrah, behind.
9. The Break Up
Farrah made it quite clear, that things were rarely just fine between herself and Derek, and word often got back to Farrah that Derek was out without her or was hitting on some girl. Eventually Farrah broke up with him and, even though he bought her a beautiful promise ring, she stood her ground. Slowly, the two began hanging out again, but then she began to see the path Derek’s life was going towards. At a party one night, she caught him apparently buying drugs from a girl, and Farrah knew there was a much different side to Derek. During their breakup, Farrah ended up being set up with a new guy from a different school who she refers to as “Rebound Guy.” Even though they ended up sleeping together, she admitted she was never very interested in him, and things quickly fell apart after Derek admitted he was angry at Farrah for being with someone else. After only a month, she and her “Rebound Guy” called things off.
8. No More Mr. Nice Guy
While Farrah ended things with her rebound guy, things again didn’t necessarily get better between herself and Derek, and they continued to date other people, but a chance encounter once again gave her a glimpse into a different side of Derek. “I kept hearing negative rumors about Derek. I didn’t want to believe any of it, but then one day I want to the Walgreens across the street from my school. I saw Derek walk in and I was going to talk to him, but then I saw him walk out and the alarm went off. He didn’t stop at the register and the alarm had gone off, so I figured he must have stolen something […] But I couldn’t help thinking, ‘What’s happening to Derek??’ He was smoking and now it looked like he was shoplifting? I felt like it was my fault. I broke up with him and gave his ring back. I had sex with some other boy and told him about it. I felt like I had pushed him over the edge and now I wasn’t there for him when he was clearly self-destructing.”
7. Unplanned Parenthood
After some time, Derek and Farrah reconciled but it soon escalated into even more fighting, and more on-again, off-again times between the two, and the whole time, Farrah was ignoring something very important. In the beginning of June, she missed her period, but it wasn’t until late July, the real reason became too big for her to disregard. “I finally had to face the fact that something was really wrong. I wasn’t just late. Now, when I did my abdominal planks during cheer practice, it didn’t look like I had a six-pack anymore. It looked like I had a small triangle poking out of my tummy. I knew I was probably pregnant and I started freaking out.” After she and a friend went to Planned Parenthood, Farrah’s suspicions were confirmed, and although she immediately tried to call Derek, he ignored her call.
One of the most surprising parts of Farrah’s book was her discussion about abortion. At the clinic, the nurse told her she could take medication to induce an abortion but because she was under eighteen she would need a parent to sign for her. In fact, at first that was Farrah’s answer and she fully intended to get the medication before her mother refused. “My mom was silent. She looked like she wanted to cry. She turned away and looked at her computer screen for a moment. Then she said, ‘God tells us to not kill any living being. What do you think you’re doing, Farrah? The medication works by cutting off nutrition and starving the egg.” That was when reality really set in. “I was confused. Nothing that was happening to me made sense. I had used birth control responsibly, but I was pregnant. My parents preached against teen pregnancy, but wouldn’t agree to let me take a medication so I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore. I couldn’t even get the boy who got me pregnant to return my calls so I could tell him he was about to be a father. How was this happening? Why was it happening? I didn’t understand my world anymore. My mom didn’t say anything else. We sat there in silence and I knew my fate was sealed. She wasn’t going to sign. This pregnancy wasn’t just going to go away.”
5. Not Telling Derek
One of the craziest and perhaps saddest things about Farrah’s situation, and her relationship with Derek, was that she never actually told him he was going to be a father. She explained that they met up a few times and chatted but, because he was treating her badly, she never ended up telling him. “I decided that I would wait until it seemed like he was ready to be take on the responsibility of being a father. Looking back, I can’t help but question whether or not I made the right choice. Of course, if I had known he was going to die I would have told him about the baby — even if he was still partying and treating me badly. I would have taken whatever I could get. But these are the questions that still haunt me: Would he have changed? Would he have still gone on hooking up with other girls, doing drugs, and drinking? Would we have been fighting and arguing all the time because I didn’t agree with the choice he was making? Would he have died anyway? I’ll never have the answers to these questions, but what I knew then was that I didn’t want for us to be together just because I was pregnant with his child.”
Before finding out about her pregnancy, Farrah was pursuing her dream of modeling and acting with a six-month course and had even landed a part-time job as a ring girl for Omaha Fight Club, but she realized that, “even though I still looked skinnier than most of the other girls, I was going to have to quit that soon since I couldn’t be parading around in pumps and tight dresses once my belly got really big. I realized now that any offers for talent work would be out the door as soon as I started to show.” As fate would have it, however, after finding out about her pregnancy, Farrah’s coach discovered MTV was casting for 16 and Pregnant, launching Farrah’s reality TV journey. “Because the show was brand new and still a secret, we didn’t tell anyone the real reason cameras were following me. We just told them MTV was filming for a show they were making about the life of a teenager. But as soon as filming started, rumors that I was pregnant began to spread like wildfire. Naturally, the rumors got back to Derek very quickly and although he asked her outright several times if she was pregnant, she kept telling him no. Although Farrah tried to hide her interactions with Derek from MTV, they did catch one — an angry phone conversation. “They finally did film one of these conversations, and sure enough, he came across as jealous and crazy in that footage.
3. From Bad To Worse
While Farrah avoided Derek for as long as she could, as always she just couldn’t keep away from him, and asked him to come over to get some of his stuff, but things went badly. The two began making out, and things were getting out of hand, when Farrah’s father walked in with a knife in his hand. Both Derek and Michael called the police and, because he had been holding the knife, Michael was arrested and taken to jail. “After the arrest, Derek’s mom insisted on pressing charges and things really began to deteriorate in my life. My entire family was mad at me for lying about seeing Derek and inviting him into the house that night. There was more pressure than ever to quit talking to him, especially now that the courts were involved,” she recalled. In the end, it all came down to Farrah losing her phone to stop talking to Derek once and for all. After her mother gave Farrah her old iPhone, her only condition was she couldn’t give Derek the new number. Following that, the last time she ever saw Derek was just outside of school and he didn’t even acknowledge her. “From that moment on, I began praying every night because I wasn’t strong enough to deal with everything that was happening to me on my own. I prayed that Derek would get all of his immaturity out of his system so that when I had the baby we could come together and be in the same place in our lives. I prayed like this every night. I didn’t know it then, but that was the last time I would ever see Derek.”
2. Losing Derek
Even though it seemed they were truly over, Farrah didn’t lose hope that she and Derek would find their way back together, especially because of the baby, but that all went away following his car crash. While it is difficult for her to talk about it on camera, she recalled what she remembered about losing Derek as best as she could in her book. “I still don’t know exactly what happened that night. If Derek and his friend Zach, who also died that night, had been drinking before Derek got behind the wheel of the car or if it was just a fluke accident. After the initial shock wore off I just wanted to know how; how could this have happened?” She added, “In the end, what I’m left with is that Derek was the driver, the one in control. He lost control of the car, just like he lost control of his own life. He made poor choices that led him on the path that ended with an accident. But I also believe that everyone close to him had a part to play — including me.” Following his death, Farrah avoided the MTV cameras in order to go to Derek’s visitation privately and was confronted by Derek’s sister who demanded to know if the baby was his.
Today Is a special day to take a moment to show our love for the loss of Daddy Derek who still is so important in our every day lives, this past year has had some struggles dealing with our loss, I’m so proud of Sophia for asking about when she will get to see her daddy Derek again, and having a healthy journey of discovery of what death is and how we grieve differently as a child and adult. I love Derek so much and I Love Sophia so much, Derek gave me the best gift from God and I’m so thankful everyday for the wonderful memories Derek and I made together and so thankful everyday for the memories Sophia and I get to make together. I am in a much better place this year and I look forward to a even greater 2016 filled with peace & remembrance from all the truly special and amazing people God has put in my life. Derek is loved by so many , family and friends.Derek is truly a special person in our hearts 12/28/2008.
1. Life Goes On…
Much of what followed, fans of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom have seen on the series. Farrah knew she had to move on both for herself and her daughter, and distracted herself by preparing for her daughter’s arrival which included picking out a name. She did so with her mom and grandparents and together they agreed on Sophia Laurent Abraham after the actress Sophia Loren. After welcoming Sophia in February 2009, Farrah’s focus was on being a mom, but she soon discovered being a young mom was even more difficult. Two weeks after having her daughter she went back to work at Applebee’s and after a couple of months, things began to get out of hand. “I was partying too much; going out just to drink, mingle, and escape the stress of my life. It quickly became an issue […] One night, I finally realized being a party girl wasn’t who I really was. I had met up with my weekend friends and we went downtown to some bars and clubs. I drank too much and did some coke. I had been partying a lot but this was a whole new level for me.” She also revealed that eventually all of it became too much for her parents, who started fighting more, and led to one of Farrah and her mother’s biggest fights after her mother went through her mail. “I went back to the kitchen to get the rest of my mail, but she refused to give it to me. It got physical, punches were thrown, hair was jerked, threats were made.” Farrah called the police on her mom, but when they arrived things got worse. “I heard what sounded to be an introduction that got cut off, and a man’s voice yelling, ‘Put the knives down!’ By the time I got to the door, I saw an officer holding a gun pointed directly at my mom.” For some terrifying moments, Debra refused to put the knives down, but finally did and was arrested.