Miley Cyrus Caught Making Out With Paris Hilton…Allegedly

Helga Esteb /

That word: Allege. What would we do without it in the 21st century. It carries so much more weight than suppose, apparent or presume. And because of that word, there’s a better chance that what follows is true.

For those who were hoping that Miley Cyrus would do something outlandish, brandish with another woman… well, consider this an early Christmas present.

Miley was recently partying at a club with her boyfriend, Patrick Schwarzenegger, as well as other friends, including Paris Hilton. According to some unidentified third parties in the club mix, Miley and Paris were straight up making out in the VIP area. And by making out, that includes some wandering limbs, if you’re picking up what I’m laying down. Did all of this happen? (Here it comes…) Allegedly.

Would it be so out of the ordinary for something like this to happen? No. Not at all. Would it be so out of the ordinary for the story to be fabricated to simply get Miley’s name into a scandalous story as the year winds down? No. Not at all. You picking that up, too?

This machine never stops–never sleeps. It is always generating–always mass producing. The same reason why it has churned out a story that Miley is allegedly pregnant with Schwarzenegger’s child. Is it true? If it is, then it makes the hard partying a little harder to believe, but not entirely out of the realm of possibility. Still… 21st century, and no video footage of the alleged incident?

For more on Miley’s antics, and whether or not she was actually making out with the great granddaughter of hotel magnate, Conrad Hilton, check out the video below.


James Sheldon