Although Jay-Z and Beyonce are two of the biggest musical superstars in the world, they have always been able to keep their personal life extremely private, which makes it even more shocking that the music mogul has spoken out about his marriage, including his infidelity.
In a lengthy and candid interview with T: The New York Times Style Magazine, the rapper opened up about what his life is like behind the scenes with Beyonce, and how they pulled their relationship back together after his transgressions.
“You know, most people walk away, and like divorce rate is like 50 percent or something ’cause most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself,” he told the outlet. “So, you know, most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself. And so you walk away.”
Although he never walked away from his own marriage, there have been bumps in the road as cheating rumors have constantly surrounded the Hollywood power couple, and was intensified after Beyonce released her album Lemonade. The visual album was filled with songs about adultery which many took to be from Beyonce’s own personal experience being cheated on and then Jay-Z himself alluded to cheating on his wife on his own newest album 4:44.
Jay-Z revealed he attended therapy, stating, “I grew so much from the experience. But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a … you’re at such an advantage.” He added that his tendency to build up walls came from his childhood, and that in a way lead to his unfaithful actions, “You go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happen? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect [because of the way you feel about yourself],” he said. “In my case, like it’s, it’s deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity …”
He then explained that their own relationship issues were in fact used on both of their albums as many fans suspected. “We were using our art almost like a therapy session,” he said of the music, adding that playing the deeply personal tracks for one another was painful — and “very, very uncomfortable.” He continued, “We were sitting in the eye of that hurricane,” JAY-Z said. “The best place is right in the middle of the pain. And that’s where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. You know. [I was] really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft. I think she’s amazing.”